By Antwann Johnson<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By Antwann Johnson<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was 21 years old when t was arrested and convicted for a crime I did not commit. The uncertainties concerning the prison’s Do’s & Don’ts left me confused, but nothing could prepare me for the prison “Politics”; and the older seasoned inmates. It was clear from the start I had to learn the ropes fast. Age became a victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were 3 situations I felt compelled to get involved in. This is my story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was the summer of 2007 while t was at Bonne Terre Prison. The prison was okay; despite the normal prison monotony. Several inmates were fully engulfed in the prison lifestyle, and that regularly led to problems. There was a young white kid by the name of Steve; who couldn’t have been more than 19 years old. I would frequently hang out at his cell just to have casual conversations. After a few months, we laughed and joked about different things. However, little did I know the Evil that lurked amongst us. Two seasoned inmates were watching and studying our interactions. They were sexual predators!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One morning I wake up and start my regular routine. I would shadowbox every morning before the cell door would pop open. As the doors opened; I immediately notice Steve coming towards me, and the look in his eyes was clear. Something had him troubled. With a noticeable tremble in his voice; he said; “Goldie, I need your help! There are a couple of guys who keep asking me to hang out with them. What should I do?” I told him that when they come back, come get me. A few days later, I noticed something was off in the wing. My senses were keen on picking up certain things, and I immediately looked up to Steve’s cell. saw two guys at his door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hurried up the stairs as fast I could and yelled; “A . who are you looking for?” As I approached, I could see Steve over the shoulder of one of the guys. He was standing there lost, but it was fear and terror that I saw in his eyes. I looked both creeps straight in the eyes, and with a voice of conviction I said, “Leave him alone.” It appeared this created a scene because a guy I knew came up and asked, “Is there a problem?” The two predators said no, walked off, and never returned. As I was attempting to explain, he said; “Let me talk with you. ” It was clear from our conversation that I had just prevented Steve from being raped. Steve thanked me for being there. As time went on, Steve gained his confidence, and everyone liked him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few years later, I met an elderly white guy who was born in 1930. “WOW’, I said to myself. He had a great sense of humor, and even in his 7Cs; he was good-hearted. Well, one day I went to his cell to joke around like usual, but he had a cold stare in his eyes. I asked, “What’s wrong Mr. Charlie?” He responded, “Someone robbed my cell while I was at rec.” “That was all the canteen I had to survive off of for the month.” If you could imagine how this made me feel. Just listening to Mr. Charlie feels so helpless touched me deeply. I told Mr. Charlie not to worry; got something for you.” I gave Mr. Charlie twice the amount that was stolen from him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then one day while I was at Mr. Charlie’s door; out the corner of my eye I see these two guys (about my age) walk up. “l heard your name Goldie!”; one of them said trying to sound tough. “Yeah, what’s it to you?” I replied as I positioned myself for a boxing match. I tightened my fists and said these words; “God, if I can’t help them; please don’t let me hurt them.” One of the guys told the other; “Let’s go! Not right now.” Later on that day, the same two guys rolled up on me again. This time one of them said, “That old man Mr. Charlie owes us. Are you going to pay for him?” I asked God for strength and blacked out. When I realized what had<\/p>\n\n\n\n
happened, both guys were trying to regain their composure from the few lefts & rights. To my far left I could hear Mr. Charlie saying, “That’ll teach you punks a lesson.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It wouldn’t be until years later that a guy by the name of Mr. Jones would say something so profound to me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Goldie,” he said as he laid his frail hand upon my shoulder. “Nobody will ever remember you for the good you’ve done to help others in here. People will not be concerned as to why you got involved in these issues. They will remember you for only the bad things.” So when I found myself confronting predators who prey on the elderly and weak; I would give up because it’s true. I have been viewed as the bad guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was another elderly inmate to told me; “God sees your heart, and He knows what you’re going through. So no good deed goes unnoticed with Him. And no bad deed goes unpunished.” So when I decided to get baptized on October 22, 2015; t told God before I went under the water, “If You protect me through the valley of the shadow of death; I will fear no evil. For You are with me.” When I came up from under that water, I refused to live my old life! I don’t expect everyone to be receptive to the truth. Besides those I’ve helped, Ms. Vickie Price has believed in me. Even though I was living in prison, wasn’t going to allow prison to live inside me. It was either I decide, or someone is going to decide for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can remember a guy telling me something about myself. “Goldie,” he said. “Many inmates look at how you send out all those letters day after day, and it seems nobody has helped you yet. People are laughing at you, Goldie.” It was what he said next that made me more determined than ever. “Let it go Goldie. You’re not worth fighting for.” At that moment, I thought about how Job must have felt when everyone told him to curse God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many people have no clue or idea why I fight so hard to prove myself. It’s because all my life I was verbally abused, bullied, and picked on as a child. So when t learned to box, my coach would give me the confidence I had previously lacked as a child. My grandmother did her best to shield me. So when I witness someone being picked on, it triggers an emotion that compels me to what to help; because I never had anyone who stood up for me. As a child watching television & seeing ‘David Banner’ turn into the “Incredible Hulk”, it did something to me. It solidified that the bad guys would be punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whether or not my good deeds were recognized by prison officials was unclear. But they were received well by all the inmates I’ve aided over the years. I knew God had received my acts with good intentions; because He placed Vickie Price, from the Catholic community, into my life to mentor me through my darkest hours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve continued to search for the truth as to why I was removed from my job as a medical hospice\/porter. Other than caring for the inmate patients; I tried to keep others from taking advantage of these men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ll never forget a quote I saw hanging on the prison wall. “Stand for what’s right \u2014 Even if you’re standing alone.” Oh Jesus! All the possibilities of what my life could have been But now 24 years later at 45 years old; I’m beginning to feel BROKEN!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I only have one question for the person who’s reading this story. What could I have done differently to be…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Antwann Johnson By Antwann Johnson I was 21 years old when t was arrested and convicted for a crime<\/p>\n